Why I created ‘The Self Worth Journal’
Hello Worthy one!
Welcome to your space, my space and our space.
I am Sheila Daisy a certified transformational Life Coach. Living boldly isn’t natural for most of us but certainly available to all of us.
It requires feeling comfortable in your skin, appreciating you for all that you are, knowing your worth and loving yourself exactly as you are. The Self Worth Journal was inspired by my own experiences through the transitions of my self worth healing journey.
Finding the coping and best strategies, as I experienced the changes of each phase I went through. Throughout this journey I found that most information out there talked about all the things we could indulge in to show ourselves love but not so much about the actual inner work that needed to be done and how to practically do them.
Who am I and why should you be interested in my story
With both Ghanaian and Danish heritages, I am a daughter of two very different but beautiful cultures, which I only begun to appreciate in my thirties. Being the first of three siblings, I’ve always had the maternal inclination towards my younger siblings even though that was not my responsibility, I felt I had to uphold certain standards and put them first. So, it was not surprising that I unintentionally demonstrated this behaviour to ex-partners as well. This is not an ideal position for a worthy woman to be, in a relationship.
The turning point
I have been on a journey of personal development and healing for a good number of years now and though I have uncovered, faced and resolved a lot of issues my turning point was when I hit rock bottom and for the first time uttered the words – I think I might be depressed. A sentence that was so hard for me to verbalise and acknowledge, and at this point I knew I had to see someone, so I sought out a life coach whom I worked with and realised that the cause of my disappointment and lack of fulfilment was due to my lack of SELF WORTH.
The healing journey begins
It hit really hard and as I reflected I found the root cause of where this feeling and belief was from. My parents never made me feel unloved, unappreciated or that I couldn’t do what I wanted to do, but the core of my unworthiness started with a classmate from my primary school years. This girl spoke words to me which broke my confidence, worthiness and sense of belonging and as I used to say like an onion, other experiences became layers and layers of unworthiness beneath my smiles. Working on myself and through this made me realise I wasn’t an onion but rather an artichoke – beneath my layers of unworthiness is a heart full of light and compassion and that which is not afraid to be loved, give love and receive love.
Facing the past
Many tears were shed as I had to confront a past I had so well buried, it was painful and heart wrenching to face the truth of why I let people walk all over me, manipulate me and disrespect me all because I did not love myself and did not know my own worth. One other realisation was that due to this belief every rejection or NO said to me was a reinforcement of my unworthiness.
How my personal experiences led me to focus on the niche of self-worth, self-acceptance, and self-compassion whilst in a transition
At a very chaotic point in my life, when I completed my masters and couldn’t find a job I begun to lose confidence everyday I got a rejection from an application. I thought there was something wrong with me and so I worked harder, sent more than 3,000 applications even for jobs I was over qualified for.
I was getting desperate and couldn’t seem to stop applying for jobs whenever I had my laptop on until one day I overheard a TV programme – Cupcake Wars in the background, it caught my attention and for a minute I lost myself in that world. I decided to give it a go even though I was a terrible baker at that point. The day I got my ingredients and made my first batch I was so proud but the most important experience was completing losing myself in that moment and forgetting about how I felt about myself and my situation.
I continued practicing because baking had become my happy place, a place I had found more respect and value and could forget my unworthiness. I had found a coping strategy and opportunity in this transitional period. As I practiced, I got better and then started getting orders which reaffirmed my worth to myself and though that wasn’t the dream it had given me back a sense of self worth that I had lost in the uncertainty of future career.
I had come to the point of taking complete ownership for where I was in life. That sense of worth showed p again years after during another transition. The “dream job” was in hand but I was letting people walk all over me because I wanted to belong. I had no boundaries because I wanted to be liked and fit but a session with my coach made me realise I needed to set healthy boundaries for my own well-being.
This was hard but I needed to do this for me if I wanted to feel better and respected. So, I decided to start to set boundaries and can vividly remember the first time I said NO to being asked to to something that was more of an inconvenience to me. That was my first victory – for putting myself first, for showing myself respect. Learning that every experience we encounter is based on how we see, value and know our worth, I decided to get more knowledgeable and share my learnings.
Doing more and overexerting yourself wasn’t the answer
I previously, believed that the more eager I was or held on to things that were not serving me the greater the chances of me being liked and accepted. Through coaching I braved it and took a very good look at why this had become my pattern and realised I loved too much. I respected others more than I respected myself.
I prioritised others and their opinions more than myself and I also gave too much of myself to others without receiving anything back and I for sure was not giving any of these back to myself. Not even the grace I showed others. I was literary pouring out of an empty cup and this had drained me to the point of living a shell of the life I always dreamed of. This might be you too but it doesn’t have to be, my aim is to provide you with strategies to work on yourself in the different phases and through these challenges they might bring.
Understand the topics we discuss: building self worth in personal development, self-acceptance, and self-compassion through life’s transitions
Covering topics on general personal development, self-acceptance, self- worth and self -compassion, we will explore strategies, tips and practical applications to help us on our self discovery and healing journey.
Why I choose to be transparent and open about my personal experiences and how can I serve you?
The inner work takes time but with consistent steps we experience the change on the outside too. My healing begun with what I call my journey back to me – a journey of radical self love, self acceptance and self compassion, getting to know and appreciate the real me, for all that I am. Learning to love yourself when everything is as you planned isn’t easy, it can be messy and painful but absolutely rewarding and it starts with the decision to want that.
I have grown to know that if I don’t take charge of whatever card I am debt whilst taking care of me then I cannot show up for or take care of others. If I don’t accept me, where I find myself and where I come from I can’t appreciate others in the same light. Healing has meant loving and valuing myself enough to set strong and healthy boundaries. I will provide support and answer questions along your journey.
My Goal with this page
My search for actual steps to loving myself in all the different phases of my life brought me to a point of coming up with my own guide that I will gladly share with you just sign up for my newsletter and I will send you the pdf. It is my hope that the strategies, tips and information I share here will help you find a way back to loving the person you are, exactly as you even as you work on improving yourself and through whatever life transition you find yourself in.
Today, I more than embrace everything about me and where I am in life. Looking back I am so very grateful for every experience that has brought me to this point and whom I am growing to be. Yes, grateful for everything life has thrown at me as this has given me a wealth of knowledge and appreciation for how strong I am and YOU are too. I know life hasn’t happened to me but happened for me and it is exactly what it’s doing for you, so let me help you unravel, navigate and face your challenges together.
Love & Light
Sheila Daisy
e. sheiladaisy@theselfworthjournal.com