I’m acutely aware that life’s never a smooth sail. Disruptions, big and small, find their way onto our paths. Whether it’s a job change, a broken relationship, or a global pandemic, life’s transitions test our sense of self-worth. But what exactly has cultivating self-worth got to do with the life transitions we experience? Well in simple terms, I believe it defines our ability to not lose our sense of self and our values irrespective of external circumstances.
Why is self-worth so critical for every one of us? Without a solid sense of our own value, we’re like ships without anchors, easily influenced by societal norms and life upheavals. When you’re grounded in your self-worth, you’re more inclined to make decisions that reflect your true self, rather than bow to external pressures. Yes, this can sometimes be a challenge but a robust sense of self not only puts you in a place of power over your own life but also makes you better at bouncing back from setbacks.
One thing to understand though is: that your self-worth isn’t your job title, your bank balance, or the number of friends you have. It’s deeply personal and springs from within. Sure, life will challenge that inner value. A sudden job loss or an unforeseen illness can make you question your worth. But remember, such events do not define you.
I remember when I was in the transitional period of looking for a job after my degree, I had received so many rejections that I began to think there was something wrong with me. The rejections started defining my worth and so I avoided meeting with friends because conversations about what we were up to or our jobs reminded me of the failure I was, in not being able to secure a job.
My sense of self at that time was so poor that I was easily influenced by what was happening around me externally. As time passed, my true value became attached to the status and titles I had from the external things I encountered and that affected not only my self-worth but confidence as well.
It took a lot of years and some painful experiences for me to work my way to my worth again. As I realised that almost all of my experiences with how people treated me or responded to me were a reflection of how I perceived and treated myself, I took responsibility for cultivating my self-worth all over again.
Self-worth provides the resilience you need to navigate through life’s storms. It’s the quiet confidence that helps you get back on your feet after a fall; it’s what keeps you moving FORWARD when everything else seems to be pushing BACK.
The road to nurturing a solid sense of self that can withstand the countless phases of life isn’t linear and there will be obstacles so let’s look at some challenges to self-worth you might be facing amidst change. By recognizing these obstacles, you’re better equipped to affirm your worth and cultivate the resilience necessary to not only survive but thrive, during life’s inevitable transitions.
Identifying Challenges to Self-Worth Amidst Change
Life can be unpredictable, and with every twist and turn, our sense of self-worth is often put to the test. Whether it’s starting a new job, moving to a new city, or facing the end of a relationship, transitions in life can act as tremors, shaking the foundation of how we see ourselves.
Personal identity can feel like a complex puzzle, where each piece represents different roles and beliefs. When change uproots one or more of these pieces, we’re left questioning who we are and where we belong. This dissonance can trigger a profound sense of loss, leading to diminished self-worth.
No one is immune to the inner turmoil that can accompany significant life events. It might be the sharp sting of being made redundant or the disorienting effect of retirement. Sometimes even positive transitions, like the birth of a child or a promotion, can strain our identity and self-worth, challenging us to adapt and redefine ourselves.
These experiences are demanding, and it’s natural to struggle in the face of them. Developing a resilient mindset is not about avoiding these challenges; it’s about equipping ourselves to navigate through them confidently. That’s why understanding and coping with these changes is crucial to fostering a resilient sense of self-worth.
Mastering Resilience: Building Block of Self-Worth
I have come to learn that resilience is the inner fortress that guards our sense of self-worth during life’s inevitable storms. Understanding it as the mental muscle that rebounds after hardship, gives us the perspective we need to cultivate it deliberately.
In positive psychology, resilience is presented not as an inborn trait but as a quality that can be developed through specific, intentional activities. For instance, resilience can be strengthened by practising problem-solving skills or by creating a narrative of personal strength, as suggested on PositivePsychology.com.
One particularly impactful activity involves identifying and focusing on personal strengths. By writing down times when we’ve successfully navigated challenges, you reinforce the recognition of your capabilities. This reflection not only boosts resilience but bolsters the feeling of self-worth.
Another resilience-building practice is setting realistic, achievable goals. This strategy creates a pattern of small successes, which over time contribute to a stronger self-image and the understanding that you are in control of your life, despite external chaos.
Though there are countless ways to master resilience we will now explore specific practices that can help solidify your sense of personal value and self-worth. These practices will not only make you appreciate your intrinsic worth but also understand that YOU dictate the terms on which you value yourself, not the circumstances around you.
Self-Worth in Action: Practices to Enhance Personal Value
Think of embracing self-worth as an active process, requiring you to engage with practices that reinforce the value you naturally possess.
One approach I find incredibly effective is integrating mindfulness into my routine. Mindfulness comes in different forms and I tend to lean towards breathwork contemplation. Each of these practices roots me in the present moment, offering a break from the whirl of uncertainties and helping me centre my worth irrespective of external circumstances. I mostly start my day with a few minutes of mindfulness meditation, where I focus solely on my breath, acknowledging my worth with each inhale and exhale.
Another empowering practice is keeping a gratitude journal. Each day, write down three things about yourself that you’re grateful for. It could be a skill, a personal trait, or an action you took that day that made you feel proud. This practice can redirect your focus from what you feel you’re lacking to the abundance that exists within you.
Finally, setting boundaries is crucial for self-worth. Identify what you value most and protect it. Communicating your needs and limits to others is a profound act of self-respect, proving to yourself that your well-being is paramount.
Nurturing a Lasting Sense of Worth Through Continuous Growth
Embracing self-worth is a lifelong transition with an evolving part of who you are. The journey doesn’t end with adopting a few good practices. Continuous growth is paramount. Reflecting on your experiences and actions can reinforce a solid sense of self regardless of what life throws your way and trust life will throw stuff at you.
One thing that has always been a big help to me is my awareness. Yes, self-awareness is paramount and so self-reflection has become a powerful tool for my personal development. I journal a lot and sometimes going back through the journals I can see the experiences I have encountered and the lessons learnt. When you learn from life’s challenges, you transform each trial into a lesson. Imagine looking back at a difficult period in your life not with regret, but with gratitude for the strength it helped you build.
In all this, we must not forget to take care of the person going through this transition and trying to maintain their self-worth – you. Self-care is another critical component in this journey. It goes beyond the occasional pamper day – it’s about allocating time for your well-being daily. Whether that means setting aside time to read, pursuing a hobby, or simply getting enough sleep, these actions communicate to yourself that YOU MATTER.
Now, let’s not forget the importance of a support system. It’s invaluable to have people in your corner who can provide encouragement, and remind you of your strengths and value, especially during times of transition. They are mirrors reflecting the best parts of you, even when you might forget them. I can’t express enough how two friends spent their weekends with me packing when I was in the middle of relocating. Though sad to be leaving them, their support and love made me realise how much that helped make my decision easy.
To Recap
Life is full of uncertainties and as much as we would like to be well prepared for them that is impossible however we can better weather the storm if we have solid foundations in our sense of worth and our values. So, remember that building and maintaining your self-worth is a dynamic process.
It grows with you as you face life’s changes and transitions and it might take some time. By staying committed to self-reflection, self-care, and fostering support networks, your journey towards a resilient, confident self can be a fulfilling one. Every step you take is a testament to your inherent worth. I would love to know if you have any experience to share in the comments or any questions I’d be happy to answer.
Love & Light
Sheila Daisy
