Self-care has become more than just a buzzword; it’s a necessary practice in today’s fast-paced world. The concept of self-care is not new, and it has deep roots in both Eastern and Western cultures.
From preventing burnout to promoting overall well-being, self-care is an investment in our minds and bodies. In this article, we will explore the importance of understanding your personal needs for building a self-care routine and provide some practical examples of nurturing activities to incorporate to incorporate in our day to day.
The Importance of Self-Care and Self-Worth
I remember a couple of years back, just before the Covid pandemic hit, I was involved in so many activities because I wanted the recognition from colleagues, and I wanted my ex’s family to like me. I didn’t know how to say NO to the requests I got even when I didn’t have the capacity or energy to see them through.
My day would normally start at 5:00 am with getting to the gym at 5:30 am, then getting ready for the office at 8:am. At the end of the working day, I would get home around 18:00 hours and then get ready to jump on a coaching call or mentoring session just after organising dinner.
After these sessions, I would quickly check emails for my own business and see what I had to do for the next day. In between these planned activities, I would also make time for running an errand for my partner or meeting up with his mates or something else. I had little time to myself because I prioritised what others thought of me over my own needs.
I had zero to no self-care routine and would fall asleep immediately after my head hit the pillow only to wake up hours later and have my sleep pattern interrupted because I didn’t take the time to wind down. It didn’t take long before I realised I was running on low, I would get easily irritated, forgetful and palpitations.
I thought it was due to the amount of coffee I was drinking – I love coffee. I cut out coffee and all caffeinated drinks but I was still experiencing these symptoms. Getting a bit concerned I sought my GP who ran some tests and told me to start taking better care of myself because what I was experiencing was stress and fatigue and that was all I needed to hear.
Coming back home and researching as to how to start this more mindfully, I found that I was very much neglecting my values and personal needs. I was treating myself as the B-character in my own life, where was my sense of worth?
My people-pleasing had taken over everything in my life and that was draining me. Learning that self-care is essential because it helps prevent burnout and allows us to recharge our physical, mental, and emotional batteries, I decided to find ways to better take care of myself.
When I started doing this I started feeling better and making better choices for myself. It wasn’t an easy journey though as saying NO to people was never my thing but as I practised more it got easier and I noticed I valued myself and my needs more.
One crucial aspect of self-care is cultivating self-worth. Self-worth refers to recognising our inherent value and treating ourselves with kindness, compassion, and respect. When we have a healthy sense of self-worth, we are better equipped to prioritise our needs and make choices that align with our values. It also enables us to set boundaries and engage in nurturing activities that promote our overall well-being.
Understanding Your Unique Self-Care Needs
I was so disappointed when my research online gave me very generic examples of self-care activities such as a spa experience, a manicure or a shopping spree. That wasn’t what my should was calling for at that moment for what I needed was beyond the surface fixes. I realised that self-care is not a one-size-fits-all approach.
It’s essential to understand that what works for one person may not work for another. As individuals, we each have our unique preferences and needs when it comes to self-care. Therefore, it’s crucial to take the time to reflect on what activities nourish your body, mind, and soul.
To begin understanding your unique self-care needs, consider the following questions:
- What activities bring you joy and make you feel energised?
- How do you like to relax and unwind?
- What hobbies or interests do you enjoy?
- What activities make you feel connected to yourself and others?
- What activities help you recharge and replenish your energy?
By reflecting on these questions, you can start to identify the activities that resonate with you and align with your needs and values.
Designing Your Personal Self-Care Routine
Creating a self-care routine that promotes self-worth and nurtures your body, mind, and soul is an ongoing process. It requires self-reflection, experimentation, and a willingness to prioritise your well-being. Let’s look at some practical examples of nurturing activities that you can incorporate into your self-care routine:
Physical Self-Care
Physical self-care involves taking care of your body and promoting its overall well-being. Here are some activities to consider:
Moving your body
Engage in regular physical exercise that you enjoy, such as walking, jogging, dancing, or yoga. Find activities that make you feel energised and focus on the joy of movement rather than solely on achieving fitness goals.
Eating nourishing meals
Prioritising a balanced and nutritious diet that fuels our body is one of the very important yet overlooked ways to take care of ourselves. We cannot be too strict on what to eat or not unless specified by a physician however, we can indulge in moderation being mindful of the quantity and quality of what we put in our bodies.
I believe that 85% of the time our main goal of eating should be based on nourishment. Nourishing meals should include plenty of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins. The key is always to listen to our body’s hunger and fullness cues and practice mindful eating.
Getting enough sleep
Even though we are all different and have different physical needs one thing we all need is adequate sleep. Establishing a consistent sleep routine and aiming for 7-9 hours of quality sleep each night should be our goal but as always the key is to listen to your body and its needs.
I found that creating a relaxing bedtime routine that allows me to unwind and prepare for restful sleep is very helpful. So, I would normally have my phone on “do not disturb” a half an hour before I go to bed.
Practice relaxation techniques
In the 30 minutes before bedtime I use this for my relaxation rituals like gratituding or meditation. I noticed that when I spend time off the screen and reflect on the good that I had experienced throughout the day it helps me relax and so I fall easily asleep.
So, incorporating relaxation techniques into your daily routine, such as deep breathing exercises, meditation, or taking warm baths can be very helpful. These activities can help reduce stress, promote relaxation, and restore balance to the nervous system.
Emotional and Mental Self-Care
There’s never been a time when there’s so much awareness of our mental health as now and rightfully so because this part of our wellbeing has the power to save or end a life. Emotional and mental self-care involves taking care of your emotional well-being and nurturing your mental health. Though not a physician I can talk to this and share some of the tips that have helped me in taking care of my mental health.
This is everything to me, reminding myself every time I think of a negative thing towards myself that there are so many critics out there waiting to dish it out so why do I need to be one to myself? I used to dislike looking at myself in the mirror and saying kind things (affirmations) but once I switched the image of me to my little self in my mind, I am more comfortable expressing those kind words to myself.
It is worth noting that self-compassion is essential for our overall well-being. So, cultivating self-compassion by treating yourself with kindness and understanding and practising positive self-talk can help challenge your inner critic.
Engage in activities that bring you joy
Identify activities that bring you joy and make you feel fulfilled. This could be anything from reading a book, listening to music, painting, or spending time in nature. One of my very happy places is baking.
Yes, I found this during a chaotic period in my life and since then whenever I need an escape I throw myself into baking. It calms me and gets my mind off things I am dealing with for the time I am baking. Sometimes, even when I don’t have it in me I challenge myself to get some ingredients and create something because I know how much it helps.
Express your emotions
Another great practice which has become a vital part of my self-care routine is journaling. It’s not always easy to voice your actual emotions and reactions but with a journal you can. I use this in so many ways to work through emotions, problems and mindsets.
Find healthy ways to express your emotions, such as journaling, talking to a trusted friend or therapist, or engaging in creative outlets like art or music. Expressing your emotions can help you process and release any pent-up feelings. I have journals for personal reflection, ideas, prayer, gratitude and letters to myself. These have worked and still work for me and if you are new to journaling I’d suggest starting with just one type of journal.
Practice mindfulness
Being mindful can be done in so many ways so when I learnt that not only do I have to sit on a mat to do this I was thrilled. I started taking my time to feel the warm water running as I washed up or even really smell the aroma of my morning coffee as I sipped. Cultivate mindfulness by being fully present in the moment and observing your thoughts and emotions without judgment.
Even activities such as walking breathing and body scans can be made mindful. At a point I made my evening walks my walking meditation where I made an effort to observe and appreciate colours, wind through leaves etc. As this is also not a one-size-fits-all I’d encourage that you try out different forms and find which you resonate with. There are a lot of different resources for mindful breathing and body scans and you are sure to find these through the various meditation apps around. Find one that works for you.
Social and Spiritual Self-Care
We are social creatures and as much as you love your company you also want to belong, love and be loved. So, when it comes to our self-care in social settings it is important to realise, appreciate and honour our differences.
Our social and spiritual self-care will involve nurturing our connections with others and finding meaning and purpose in life. Let’s see a few ways we can do this:
Connecting with loved ones
Prioritize spending quality time with family and friends, these may also include pets. If possible engage in activities that foster connection, such as having meaningful conversations, sharing meals, or participating in shared hobbies.
I acknowledge that not everybody might have a good relationship with family or friends but there are online platforms that can be helpful to get connected healthily.
Engaging in acts of kindness
Practice acts of kindness towards yourself and others, this brings us back to showing compassion to ourselves, when we are kind to ourselves we find it easy to extend that kindness to others as well.
Consider volunteering at a charity or shelter, helping a friend in need, or performing random acts of kindness. Acts of kindness do not only make the people receiving happy they can also bring a sense of fulfillment and foster positive relationships.
Exploring your spirituality
Sometimes, the faith and belief we have in something bigger than ourselves, helps us to stay grounded and persistent. Engaging in activities that align with your spiritual beliefs and values can help steer you on the right path because you choose things that you value not what others intend for you.
There are various ways to explore what may keep you grounded and this could include attending religious services, practicing meditation or prayer, or spending time in nature to connect with something greater than yourself.
Setting healthy boundaries
The key to staying true to yourself and your values is being able to set healthy boundaries. Be assertive but politely establish healthy boundaries in your relationships to protect your well-being.
Learn to say no when necessary, I will admit this is no easy feat but when it’s very difficult kindly ask yourself this question – Who is taking care of my own needs now? Then choose and prioritise activities that align with your values and bring you joy.
Side note, these are just some examples I have practised, your self-care routine should be tailored to your unique needs and preferences. Experiment with different activities and find what works best for you.
Take home message
Knowing what your personal needs are to build a self-care routine that promotes self-worth is an essential practice for nurturing our body, mind, and soul. As we prioritise self-care and engage in activities that align with our needs and values, we can enhance our overall well-being and cultivate a sense of self-worth.
It is always advisable to listen to our body, reflect on what brings us joy, and practice self-compassion throughout our self-care journey. We are all beautiful and unique so let’s embrace the uniqueness of our self-care routine and enjoy the benefits it brings to our lives.
What are some of the activities you have in your self-care routine that aren’t mentioned here but can be helpful to me and other readers? Please share your thoughts in the comments.
Note: This article is intended for informational purposes only and should not be considered professional advice. If you are experiencing severe emotional distress or mental health issues, please seek help from a qualified mental health professional.
Love & Light
Sheila Daisy
